This is the second post in a series.
The preceding post was posted about two months ago.
Since the story is unfolding, there will be more to come.
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It is a sad, sad day in my life. Pull out the black vestments, a novena of Masses for the departed, sound the dirge. I refuse to be consoled for my friend, my mentor, a father-figure is no more (cf. Jeremiah 31:15). I want to react; I am so filled with anger, with disappointment, with hurt, with feelings of vengeance, with sadness.
I saw him leave, and I feared it would be the last time. Somehow, I knew he would be gone forever, never to return. They told me he would be back, but I always remained skeptical. Now, my worst fears have been realized. He's gone. He's just simply gone. They took him from me. They tell me he's in a better place now, but I just can't believe it. He's gone. No longer can I visit him whenever I wish. No longer can I go and be in his presence at any time I wish. He can no longer console with with his words and his simple, loving, indifferent gaze. It's as though he's locked up, locked away, behind the doors. He is simply gone.
They tell me that he's in a better place now. They tell me he can do more good for the Church where he is now than before. I just can't believe it. I refuse. He was my friend. He still is, of course. They tell me to talk to him, pay visits to his resting place, and though this is possible, it's just no good. I quite simply have lost a mentor, forever, and it hurts.
2 comments:
I have received a couple questions about this post.
I should make clear that the "departed" person referred to is actually simply the image of St. Thomas Aquinas which was in the seminarians' hallway. Moving the image to the administration building (the doors to which are locked at night) puts the image in a place of prominence--rightly so, if a Thomist may say so!--and allows seminarians and staff and visitors to draw inspiration from him.
I personally have deep regard for St. Thomas and his contribution to the anthropological, theological and spiritual tradition of the Church; if I had not read his works, gleaned his insights, understood the distinctions he makes and asked him for his intercession and guidance, I personally would be far afield in my study of theology and the Church's doctrinal and particularly spiritual heritage. This post elucidates how inspirational that image has been to us seminarians.
St. Thomas Aquinas, pray for us.
Greg i dig on the black vestments. good luck with finals!
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